A Little Space For A Not So Little Guy. . ^^

2008-10-23T00:56:00.007+08:00

Finally I've got some quiet time to blog .

Well, I've been working my butt off.
It's so tiring.
The thought of sitting in front of the computer and chatting and catching up with people is like the last thing on my mind whenever I get home .

Have been meeting the usual family for dinners, parties, sentosa outings, gatherings.

Lots and lots of pictures, but they are all not with me!
I think alof of those pictures are so nice .
Memories ..

I'm just going to upload a couple of my favourites.
Thats all .

And oh yah, have I mentioned that I freaking hate my face now .
Its like worse than a pimple plantation.
Have already spent like so much money on medicine and stuff like that but still the same .
It's so disheartening to look in the mirror everyday.

Actually there's so many things that I want to write about but I just don't know where to start, so typical of me..

Been keeping too too many things inside of me..
I think its like the worse worse worse junction of my life ..
My past few entries have never been about happy things...either there isn't any or that the happiness is just short lived.

Where is the real me ?
Even I can't seem to find my ownself .

Who else can help me but myself ...
Who...?

Oh well ... I really don't know ..

Last but definately not least ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MY DEAR BFF !
YOU'RE FOREVER 13 IN MY HEART !
LOVE YA!

And a couple of my favourite pictures :

2008-08-30T22:08:00.002+08:00

Finally!
The end of my 2 long weeks..
And maybe more to come...

Have been working non stop since last week..
Have been doing over time every day and tomorrow is my first off day since last week..

Kind of vexed over certain stuff...
Maybe its not important ...
Like what Sasa say..
I keep on thinking of things thats not important ...

Thinking of it really make me... SIAN !!

Can't wait to go out tonight ...

2008-08-10T21:13:00.002+08:00

Somehow I kind of regretted working...
I miss my life when I just used to idle around and just do nothing but go out the whole day, every day...

Maybe I will feel better when I see the money in the bank.
Maybe, maybe not....

Time is not really on my side as well...
But on the other hand, I want eveerything to end as soon as possible.

Oh well..
What can I say..

Life is just full of contradictions....

Its back to work again tomorrow and here I am dreading to go to work...
Bla bla bla ....

2008-07-26T12:43:00.002+08:00

I'm sure alot of people remember Britney's come back after her long hiatus.
Remember the song she performed at the VMAs?
Everyone had their 2 cents worth about it.
I happened to chance upon this video of the ORGINAL CHOREOGRAPHY of that particular's day performance.

I was rather suprised.
It was an excellent choreography..
If only Britney could pull it off.

Oh well, looks like I gotta be the one to do it on her behalf then.
Hahaha!

Hooked on to this song now..

2008-06-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

Family.
When the thought of that comes into my head, my mind goes blank.
I don't know where to start.

When I was younger, I used to dislike my family alot.
Why couldnt I have a "perfect" family.
As I grow older, my idea of the "perfect" family changed.
It doesn't mean that everyone who stays together is a "perfect" family.

I used to put all the blame on my parents.
I really resent the fact that I did that.
Its stupid.

I admit that I still wished that I had more supportive parents while I was growing up.
Parents who cared and who listened to me.
The blatant truth here is that they did, but I felt that it was not enough.

Their love and support has always been there.

What went wrong ?

The answer here is me.

I went out of line.

Time and time again, I disappointed them.
They trusted me but I betrayed their trust.

Up till now, I have utterly disappointed them with 3 unforgettable and unforgivable things.
Of which , 2 of them happened only recently.

Over the past few months, although I know they are very disappointed and angry with me, they were constantly there to help me and to protect me. When I thought that my family was never there, I was so damm wrong. The more they helped me, and the more that they were there for me, the more guilt-stricken I was.

Once again, my mother has painted another beautiful picture for me, she has paved the way for me yet again.

And definately I do not want to disappoint her again and I do not want anything to go wrong.
I really feel the pressure this time round, because I really badly want to make things work and I really want to picture that my mother painted for me to come out the way she has pictured it to be...

All she wants is for me to lead a better life..and of cuz I want a better life for myself as well...

I also have another family.
My secondary family.
My friends.

I know I've said it like 1351562653457848 times, but I just want to say it again.
I really know who are my true friends who have stucked by me throughout the difficult times, not that its over but I appreciate the fact that they have been there for me.

There will be alot of things going on in my life for the next few years, or should I say the next 10 - 15 years.
And hopefully both of my families will be there with me till the end.

2008-06-27T00:28:00.001+08:00

A special post for a dear friend of mine.

Happy birthday dear

2008-06-12T23:14:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I've updated my blog...
Don't worry, I'm still alive and kicking...

Though I won't deny that there has been alot unhappy thoughts going through my head almost every night...
And to add on to that, have been thinking alot about my future..as usual...
What am I going to do with my life etc etc...
So many things going on at once...
I do get headaches at times...probably from thinking too much...and from the lack of sleep...

Have been watching DVDs at home...
Trying to finish up with Grey's Anatomy...
Its such a fantastic show..
Can't wait to finish it and get on with Queer As Folk!!

Went for facial last week and my face became like the battlefield of World War 2 after that long 3 hour session!!
Felt so upset everytime I looked in the mirror..
Thank God that my face looks better now!!!
Hehehe...

One of our fellow HGPs, the shingles boy , Bao Xian , is on MC...
So he has been accompanying Bao Chu and Me out ...shopping...movie marathons...high tea...supper sessions...gossip and bitching sessions over coffee...
Not forgeting Bao Tiu aka Hantu Gi gi who is always so lazy...taking time off from work and accompanying us as well..

Though alot was going through my head...
I definately enjoyed the company of my fellow HGPs...
Appreciate appreciate!!!

I also finally met up with Becky and Ai Er after a long long time!
Both of them havent changed much...
Becky as usual..being her motherly / sisterly self..
She's been encouraging me...being there for me...
She even bought food for me and delivered it to my door step!!!!
Touched touched touched!!

Becky - Thanks alot huns! Appreciate it!!! We shall do dinner again next week!!

Curretnly helping Bao Xian to plan Dr Kev's birthday...

Bao Xian : I know that you want things to go smoothly and I know you want it to be a nice, enjoyable and memorable party. Please don't stress yourself out ya, you have us to give you ideas and support. You can make it happen! Always keep calm and don't stress yourself!!

Bao Chu's birthday is also coming...
His hubby will plan everything for him...
Anyways, he isn't a big fan of celebrating birthdays..
Only have to think of what to get him...
Sorry Bao Chu sweet heart...can't afford too exquisite gifts at this moment..
You should know why la hor! =p

Going for lunch at Hyatt tomorrow with Bao Chu and Bao Xian...
Then its time to go shopping!!!
Its time I bought some clothes for myself!

Oh yah...
Bao Chu and Bao Xian...
You 2 stop laughing at the song at my blog ok!
Its nice nice nice!!
Love love love it!!

Love,
Bao Pui aka Britney Tan

2008-05-21T11:35:00.002+08:00

Seriously, this year has been a very very bad year for me.
Time and time and again, one problem aries after another...

So many things can happen and change everything in just one night.
What ever has happened, has already happened...
No point looking back and see if things could be done in a different way..
It just brings back more heartaches..

I've disappointed my parents greatly..
I've said sorry one to many times...
Though i feel so sorry, no point saying it anymore..

So many things are going through my head..
Where do I start..
I don't know...

I'm trying to be strong..
Its such an emotional whrilwind..

Thank you to those who have been there for me and to those who have been helping me.
No amount of words can express the heartfelt gratitude.

I just hope that things will turn out to be better..

2008-05-10T00:29:00.005+08:00

Finally the pictures of all the sentosa trips and all the partying are out!
Hurray Hurray!!
Unfortunately, I'm too lazy to put EVERYTHING up...
There are like hundreds and hundreds of pics!
I picked the nicer ones and put them up on facebook / friendster..
That is why I only uploaded 2 group pictures here...
Will upload more along the way when I am nto that lazy!

Been watching a few flicks lately...

1) Ironman
2) Dance Of The Dragon
3) What Happens in Vegas

I think the first 2 are just alright to me....
And the third one..?
Its a must watch!
The movie is so so so good!
Simply FAN-TA-BU-LOUS!

I got burnt at Sentosa on Monday....
I look so black and so burnt..

Was it worth it..?
I think it was!!
Hahahahaha!!
Don't ask me why!

Both Sasa & AhBoy aka Jonathan aka Bimbo (The Olsen Twins) have such interesting entries on their blogs!

I want to do something different..but not now...
Shall wait till the time is ripe!
Hehehe!!

Congratulations to Sasa who finally signed the contract!
Happy happy for you!!!

Not so happy for me!
Why?
Means he will be busy and stuff..and once he starts flying...I will seldom get to see him...
Same goes for AhBoy..
Alan will be all glued to his darling boyfriend....

That leaves me to be all alone...
Sad right?
Well, no choice..gotta suck it up and be more independant!

2008-05-02T14:48:00.003+08:00

Ah boy is on leave till the 7th of June...
Yay!!!!

Went to Sentosa again on Wednesday with Sasa, Alan , Ah boy...
The sun was good..
Managed to get a little more tanned...
It was so much fun..
Too bad we had reach there a little too late...

Partied on Thursday...
Hahaha...
The games that Ah boy had were so fun!
Everyone wants to keep winning at the initial stage....but not when one gets abit too kellyfied.
Hahahaha!!!

Alot alot alot of pictures were taken on both events..
But it has to be compiled by Sasa & Ah Boy....
Got the picturesd from the previous Sentosa trip..
Too lazy to put them up..
Hehehe..

Am so anticipating for Sentosa again this coming Sunday!!

Going to catch Ironman with the girls later on..
Gonna get some rest before heading out...

2008-04-25T00:26:00.003+08:00

This week practically flew by..

Been playing so much the whole week...

Went to Delta swimming complex to tan...
Went to Sentosa..

So so much fun!

Pictures will be up soon.. I hope..

Am feeling so damm frustrated and irritated now..
Just got a new Fujitsu laptop..
And me, being such an idot with computers..
I'm having so many problems with installing the various programs and stuffs..
Having so many problems with it...

Anyone who is good with computers can help this poor soul here! =(

Argghh!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

Shall keep this short and sweet.

Thank you for your encouragement and support.
Thank you for being there for me.
No amount of words can express my heart felt gratitude.
Thank you very very much.

You know who you are.

Love you...

2008-04-15T13:35:00.000+08:00

Lost....
I've gotta pick up the pieces...

Really..
Just lost.

2008-04-12T12:24:00.004+08:00

Yet another week has passed!
The past week treated me rather well...

Met up with Sasa , Alan , Ah boy aka Jonathan & Dr Kev over at peninsula plaza on thursday after my camp...
The stuffs that I wanna buy has not arrived yet..
Argh!!
Had dinner at the food court over at Funan..
Though it was just a simple dinner..
Everyone was giggling and laughing away..
All thanks to : Ah boy
Didn't know he was such a himbo can!
Hehehehehe..

Headed down to meridien after that , because alan wanted to cut his hair..
Dr Kev's car is so so gorgeous...!!!!

Went down to cindy's chalet last night ...
It feels good to do something other than just clubbing..
I think all of us just kept on eating and eating and eating...
Poor Dawn , Dina & Da gary had to be our chefts for the night..
Hehehe...
Thanks guys!!
=)

Going for a family dinner tonight before meeting up with the rest..
As usual...no plans yet, dunno who's going out etc etc ..
Shall play by ear...

Have tons of overdue photos..
Those from the villa..
Those from casual outings..
Those from yesterday's chalet..

Got to have to wait for various people to send it to me so that I can compile them and put it up...
Anyways...
Everyone else's blog will have the pictures la hor..
Lols..

I'm so so so into Paula Abdul's song.. "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" .....
Especially the Paul Oalkenfold remix..
Simply..
GORGEOUS

"Dance Like There's No Tomorrow"

All I wanna do is stay right here on the floor
Get lost in the night 'n' dance like there's no tomorrow
Don't care about the sunlight
Somebody please just hit the lights
All I wanna do is dance like there's no tomorrow

Today just wasn't my day
Everyone's gettin me so fed up
I gotta findn a way
I know what can make me feel better
Steppin out in my best
Lookin hotter than ever
Wherever the party is
That's where I'll be in a second

I'm so ready to move my body
Forget about all my problems
When I hear my song
I'm a lose control
(hee hee)
Right

All I wanna do is stay right here on the floor
Get lost in the night and dance like there's no tomorrow
Don't care about the sunlight
Somebody please just hit the lights
All i wanna do is dance like there's no tomorrow

I'm loving the atmosphere
Feels like I'm floatin in heaven
The music's all in my ear
Takin over me
My hearts racin
Feelin so Hollywood
How I got everybody starin
There eyes on the cameras
And I'm lovin all the attention

Get up to move my body
Forget about all my problems
When I hear my song
I'm a lose control
(hee hee)
Right

All I wanna do is stay right here on the floor
Get lost in the night and dance like there's no tomorrow
Don't care about the sunlight
Somebody please just hit the lights
All I wanna do is dance like there's no tomorrow

Please DJ don't say it's the last call
'Cause I know what it means
And I don't want you to play no slow song
I'm still buildin the urge to talk to that guy
Just give me another song and make it right

I just wanna stay right here on the floor
Get lost in the night and dance like there's no tomorrow
Don't care about the sunlight
Somebody please just hit the lights
All I wanna do is dance like there's no tomorrow
All I wanna do is stay right here on the floor
Get lost in the night and dance like there's no tomorrow
Don't care about the sunlight
Somebody please just hit the lights
All I wanna do is dance like there's no tomorrow

2008-04-09T18:30:00.003+08:00

There are these 2 kids.
Erica & Kimberly.
They came to know about my blog since god knows when..
They came over to tag my blog..
Initially it was okay...
Though they left some nasty and rude comments before, I just ignored them..
But it got worse...
They became personal and it is getting on my nerves.
Not the first time such a thing has ever happened.
This time is different..
One of them is my cousin, the other my half sister.
You two young, and rude girls are getting on my nerves.
I'm not going to hold back any more like before..
Enough is enough..

Dear friends, just ignore these 2 kids and stop wasting time on replying / arguing with them...

I think they are just plain RUDE.
IMEBCILES.
IRRITANTS.
PESTS.

Don't think the best insect repellant will even work on them.
Oh well..
Can't be bothered with rude and ignorant kids.
=D

I'm not going to be so mean and use harsh words on them...
Seriously not worth it..

If you two are reading this..
Just grow up and stop leaving comments on my tagboard..
If you think my blog is disgusting and it's giving you an eye sore, then forget about coming here...
Just buzz off...
If you want to be KPO and read, keep your bloody comments to yourselves..
I've had enough..
Don't push me to my limits.

What a bad start to the day!
I failed to reach camp by 7am this morning despite waking up at 5.45am!
I think i took too much time bathing and preparing...
Hahaha...
Luckily one of my colleagues who was on Ops duty helped me to open the office door if not I would have gotten into trouble again!

Still in the office now..
On duty today...

Don't think I am able to join Sasa & Ah Boy in town already..
It's getting late and there are still some officers left here..

It's good that I am on duty though..
At least I get to go online and stuff..
The computer at home has died on me...
That's why its quite boring to be at home...

My grandfather sleeps at like 8pm...
Which is very early...
So we have to be extra quiet and watch tv and do our own stuffs in the room..
And since the computer has died on me, I can only watch tv..
Boring huh?
Tell me about it!

I need a new laptop/computer!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
It's driving me crazy!!!

Still can't really get used to living at amk...
Because its quite boring...
Sigh...

I need retail theraphy!

Oh yah!
I've got to show you peeps this place :

It's simply a paradise.
You've got to see it to believe it!

2008-04-07T12:56:00.003+08:00

Nothing much to write..
Nothing much to say..

Thinking back, I think my life is just one whole boring story...
Why can't I find other things to do other then just party , party and party..

I have lost interest in just pointlessly walking around in town or just anywhere without a purpose..
And to add on to that, I have been going to camp diligently (it's not like a I have a choice)...
Which explains why I seldom go out during the weekdays..

And my weekends are usually spent on clubbin / partying...
And it has been going on like that for YEARS.

My life is begining to feel monotonous and boring..
Its getting really really really boring...

I know its up to me , how I handle my life and stuffs..
But alot of other factors chip into this boring and monotonous life that I have...

2008-03-26T09:23:00.002+08:00

Met up with my gals last Saturday!

It was so so so so so fun fun fun fun fun!!!!!
No words can describe it...

Went over to St James on Sunday as well ...
It was quite alright...
Music was quite good..

Left a little earlier than usual beacauseI had to work the next day...

Was so busy in camp on Monday due to the on-going ICT..

Was supposed to meet up with Alan & Sasa to catch the show Rule #1...
Due to some unforseen cirucmstances...
*AHEM*
Sasa : You should know loh =p

Didn't catch the show in the end ..
Derek came down to town with Alan and we had dinner over at Pasta Mania...

Went home after that...

I think it was the most expensive C grade pasta I've ever had after adding in all the other expenses like the cab fare and stuffs..

Lols!

Was in camp until 7 plus on yesterday because of some meeting stuff...

Harry: Sorry, could not catch Camp Comedy with you, will make it up to you ya!

The computer back at my AMK place is down!!!!!!
Means that I won't be able to surf the net and stuff until the weekends when I get back to Pasir Ris...

Going for breakfast now with my camp mates...

I miss outings with my gals!!!!!
AHHHHH!!!

2008-03-22T15:40:00.002+08:00

First and foremost

Thank you for everyone's birthday wishes
Thank you for all the gifts
Thank you for coming down for the party

I wasnt a very good host. Am sorry about it

To those who didn't come and notified me : Its alright ..
To those who didn't come and didnt notify me : No shame to you!

Sorry for the late replies to everyone wished me and to those who were looking for me for the past 3 weeks.

Let's start with the birthday party
It was at PLAY on Friday (29th Feb)
Had lots of fun..
Didn't get drunk because had quite a bit of stuffs on my mind and didn't wanna get all emo and drama and all...
So I tried to control myself from drinking too much..

Saturday
Flew off to KL in the afternoon with Sasa
Met up with Rod there and got to know this bunch of really fun and cool people...
Partied over there..
It was so so so much fun !
How I wish I could have stayed longer..
And no, I won't forget ELVIS...
Hahaha!
The shampoo boy from KL that I know..
Lols!!!

Came back on Sunday night..
Was so worn out..
Went to St James..
It was quite okay...
Except for the fact that I had camp the next day and I had to be present at the camp by 6..

Went to camp diligently on Monday..
Was so so tired..
And i lost my wallet !
Lost everything inside !
Very unlucky ..
Don't wish to elborate further on this

Overall,
My 22nd birthday celebration has been rather good...
Except for the fact that I had some major stuffs going on in my mind.
It was so mind boggling..
Am glad its now all over...

3 long weeks...
18 1/2 days to be exact...

Where shall I start..
Hmmm..

Alright
Here we go :

I've nothing to hide about going into DB.
I'm not proud of it.
I'm willing to write about it here because since alot of people already know about this issue and moreover, I got nothing to hide.
I made a mistake, and I was punished for it.
It's not a proud thing to say or neither am I here to tell the whole world what happened.

This blog is just a place to pen down my thoughts and my feelings.
Anyone who has any 2 cents worth, keep it to yourself.
If you don't it just goes to show what your parents have been teaching you.

Alot has been going out outside for the past 3 weeks.
People gossiping, wanting to know..
Blaspheming me...

Well, just go ahead ..

Thanks for putting me in the lime light once again after such a long time.

On Tuesday (4th March), I had a talk with my direct superior at camp...
He tried to help me but there was only so much he could do as this matter of mine had already escalated all the way up to the other superiors in the unit...

So all the officers came to a common consensus, to put me into DB for 20 days.
I was hand cuffed and brought to DB instantaneously.

But thanks to Tommy, I was able to contact a few of my close friends and my parents to inform them of this matter.

Thanks Tommy boy, you helped me alot!

My first week inside DB was very bad.
I was yelled at, screamed at, the very moment I reached.
I was put into my own cell but luckily for me I had my own cell and it was the bigger cell compared to the others..
Just like a condo in orchard road!
Lol!

I was missing everyone.
My family, my friends.

It was so tough for me to the point where I even broke down and cried.
It was very tormenting to me.
Not being able to talk to anyone, not being able to contact anyone, not being able to see my family and friends, not being able to know what time it was etc.

And if i were to use the word sad or miserable to describe how I was feeling back then, it would be an understatement.

After the first few days when I managed to calm down and come to terms with myself about being there..
I started to think..
Think about what I had done..
Reflected on myself.
What have I acheived the past 22 years of my life?
Nothing.

I had nothing to my name, nothing to my achievements.
Is it a good thing?

Definately not.

After the first week,
On a Monday, I was told that I had visitors.
I went over to the visiting room and I saw my parents and my brother.
They brought an instant smile to my face.
I could only talk to them via the phone over there and there was to be no physical contact, and to be sure of that, they had this plastic see-thru divider between my family and I.

The moment I sat down and picked up the phone, I cried.
I've never in my life wanted to hear my father's voice so much.
I didnt have the courage to look him in the eye to talk to him, I was ashamed of myself, for the mistake which I had made.
Then my brother came to the phone and I cried louder.
The kind of things he told me just made me cry more..
Tears flowed fown from my eyes like a damaged tap...
Then it was my mother..

I saw the look all of them gave me..
The look of disappointment, the look of care and concern..

After the time was up and I had to hang up the phone..
I tried to be strong and wave good bye to them..

Slowly slowly, the second week passed ...

As soon as the third week came..
I was so happy that I was going to be released during the weekend..

Before I know it..
The weekend came and I am here now typing this.

I've learned alot during the past 18 days.
More than what I would have learned outside.

I took alot of things for granted in life.
I didn't know how to treasure whatever I had until when I was stripped of everything for that 18 days, only then I knew that I've taken for granted alot of things.
Its not just my family, but more to that.

While I was inside..
I thought about alot of things.
My future is one of them.

Where do I see myself in 10 years down the road?

I'm already 22 and I'm going to ORD at the end of this year.
What are my plans?
The big society is out there waiting for me.
Continue working as a customer service associate and earn 1.3K a month like what a student on holiday would earn and be contented with it and feed myself with that amount?
No way.
Not that I despise anyone earning that amount of money or whatsoever, but its just that 13K isnt going to support the kind of lifestyle which I want to have.

And I myself know that I have what it takes to do better than that.

There were alot more things which I have thought of inside.
Of which , I'm unable to pen it all down at one moment.

I committed a stupid stupid mistake and I was punished for it .

Well
I'm just very very glad and happy to be back now.

To all my friends:

Thank you girls for showing your concern and for trying to keep it a secret for me.
I really appreciate it.
You have no idea how much I miss each one of you.
Words cannot express how much I miss you guys.
You guys are really really very veyr important to me.
Can't wait to see all of you tonight!
Hugs!

2008-03-01T14:24:00.000+08:00

Airport now with Sasa..
Leaving for KL now!

Party time!

Seeya soon

2008-02-25T20:47:00.002+08:00

Thank you for the hair cut Alvin!!!

Gideon & Alvin came over just now..
Alvin helped Gideon and me to cut our hair..
Yup yup..
Thanks gal.. =)

Stayed at home last friday after camp...
Was so tired...
Went out with the girls as usual on Saturday..
As usual...
Clubbing..
But this time everyone went down at like 2 plus except for Derek, Jaspher, Liping..

Am so so so tired from Saturday!!!
Slept from 9pm all the way till 8am on Sunday..
Still felt so tired and lazy...
So i took MC for today...

I feel so nausea...
Keep wanting to puke..

The after effect really feels bad !

Can't wait for this weekend to arrive!

2008-02-23T14:01:00.002+08:00

It has been a rather easy breezy week for me !

Was on MC all the way to Wednesday..
Was having high fever..

Went back to camp on Thursday..
Wash half day thru and CARMO Sir actually passed down the order to dismiss us at 3.30
Because it was the last day of Chinese New Year..

Friday...
Had to be at Kranji camp by 6am in the morning!!
Took a cab all the way down with Sgt Thomas..
He offered to pay for the cab fare...
And obviously I Wouldnt say no...
Hahahaa!!!

Finished up with camp stuffs at about 10.30am on Friday..
Headed home to sleep..
Slept till 7pm...
Had dinner and slept...

Before I knew it...
Saturday is here!
Hahaha!!

Meeting the rest for steamboat dinner/supper tonight!
Can't wait!

2008-02-20T11:56:00.002+08:00

Been sick since last Friday..
Started having a high fever of 39.2 degrees...

Only saw the doctor on Sunday...
On MC until today....

I feel better now..
Only that my throat feels horrible!

Okay!
Its confirmed!

I'll be having a small gathering birthday celebration at PLAY on Friday 29th Feb.
It will just be a small scale party.

Will be leaving for KL on the 1st of March with Sasa..
Will be back on the 2nd and we would probably head down to st james..
See how bah...

2008-02-14T20:35:00.004+08:00

Just changed the song around here!
Thanks to Alvin's introduction - Mariah Carey's new single - Touch My Body

Qutie a nice song I must say...

On office duty tomorrow!
Argh!!!!!!
So I'll be heading to be exceptionally early today and hopefully I can get a good rest!

Happy Valentines day to one and all...
Enjoy enjoy enjoy..
Just stay out of places like Orchard or places that's too crowded..
Don't you think its just all too commercialized..
Hmmm..

Was just pondering..
Whatever happened to my interest in polictics and whatever happened to my flair for writing!
I guess it just went down the drain the moment I left school..
Shytz!

Pictures from CNY parties (Just a few of them..and why do i always take pictures when I'm high...Must be feeling pretty pretty all..Hahahahaha!)

2008-02-13T22:39:00.002+08:00

Lou Hei
Thats what today is all about...
In the lunar calender, it is said that it's everyone's birthday today...
And most families usually gather to lou hei...

And in my family...
Its no different...

There was some unhappiness around the table even though everyone in my family was present ...
Though there was some unhappy presence in the air...
I could still tell my father was still quite happy because everyone was present...

Dinner was alright..
Nothing much to comment about...

Valentines Day..
Hahahahhaa!!!
Think all of my gals are like celebrating this special day with their special one..
Some peopele see it as just any normal day..
Some people see it as a special day to be with their special someone..
For me..?
I don't know..
If there's that someone to celebrate with, all the better..its a bonus..
If there isn't, then so be it...Nothing to cry or fuss over...

A special Happy Birthday going out to Randolph!
You're one year older!
More hair all over the body!
Congrats! =p

I want to watch "The Leap Years"
Looks like an interesting show...

I keep reminiscing about those childhood days..
The things I did ..
The friends I had ..
Where are they now ..
Hmmmmmmmmmmm....
I really wonder...

BUT

I wouldnt want to change anything that is taking place in my life now...
I think...
Well..
Even if I wanted to...
That ain't going to happen..

Make the best out of things now ..
Time to play catch up..
Time isnt going to wait for anyone of us...

Goodnight!!

2008-02-11T22:08:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is over...

Nothing much to elaborate on that...
Same old same old...

Bad start to the Lunar New Year...
Problems problems problems everywhere...

Can't run away from them..
Have to face them...
Don't like to face them..
But I'd still have to face them..

When will this ever end?

Would things have been different if I was in BKK ?
Things might have been worse than what I am going through now...

No point looking back..

How I wish I am in the cinema watching the movie with the gals right now..
But then again, given my character..
I will jam and hold everyone up and not want to go home..
And then feel the same again..
Back to square one...

Just applied for leave tomorrow again..
Totally have no mood to go to work..
Not a good sign, I know..

So emotional and feeling right now..
Horrible time to blog...
But I just wanna type some shytz to make myself feel better..
Or at least deceive myself that I feel better..

Don't even know what the hell have I been writing for the past few mintues...
Just spouting nonsense..
Like all over the place..

Time to go stone and find something to do now..

2008-01-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

Its that 4 letter word again....
L-A-Z-Y....

So shall let the pictures do the talking instead...

2008-01-27T16:41:00.000+08:00

Club club club ...and club... AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When will this ever end ?
Why can't I be more homely...
Why can't I get addicted to games like DOTA or Audition or some shytz like that!!
LOL!!!

How did I end up listening to Super Junior..
LOLs!!
All thanks to my fairy god princess SASA!!!!!

Saw the video of that little girl singing with that guy from Super Junior...
A cute guy singing well..
So I deicided to surf around youtube to find out more about them...
And they are really good...

Thanks Fairy God Princess!! =D
Lols...

It was fun to club on friday...
Everyone was there...
Going crazy....
Wad quite fun...

Saturday was....just okay only....
Nothing fantastic about it....
Except when Yoyo was around..
She kept disturbing people around us..
Hahaha!!
Miss all her nonsense!!

Took quite a few number of pictures..
Again..
I know...
Then again....its always the same old problem...
LAZY....
Lazy to uplaod it into my computer..
Snorts...

Havent got a CNY shopping list..
Sigh..
How how how!!

Facial appointment on wednesday with my mum...
Welcome CNY with a beautiful face..
Whahahahahahaha!!!

Back to camp tomorrow..
On office duty tomorrow..
What a way to start a Monday!!
And to top it all off...
Muster Parade early in the morning...

WHAO.

2008-01-25T12:02:00.000+08:00

It's the 3rd day back in camp...

Honestly I must say that I am not very used to it ...
Although I have nothing much to do here...
But I have to be all so plastic and nice to everyone...

Its so tiring lor ..

I was so tired yesterday that I actually dozed off while watching the 7pm chinese drama serial on tv....
Can't remember when was the last time I slept so early!!
Gosh..

I'm feeling a little better today because its the weekends!!
Yup yup yup!
But the thought of going back camp again on Monday is very very...annoying...
And to add on to it, there's a master parade on Monday..
And definately, I will not be spared...

Poor Jaspher has to stay in camp until 9 plus in the evening during the weekends..
That kinda sucks man..
For both him and me..
Siian!!!!

Got to know 2 more AJs back in my camp..
Haha..
Saw them before at the clubs and stuff...
So it was like kind of that "OH..You..." sort of encounter when I saw them...

Alright..
Going to meet Kak La la in the canteen now for lunch...

No plans for weekend ley!
How like dat!!!!

2008-01-22T02:49:00.001+08:00

This is going to be a rather long entry...

Here goes :

Like what Sasa said on my tag board...
Time to update and cut down on partying like there's no tomorrow..
Been partying the whole week...
Not only is it burning a hole in my wallet...
Its also making me look so haggard...

Am having second thoughts about going to BKK during CNY period...
Yes, I admit that I am tempted to experience what its like to party there and stuffs..
But due to various factors...
I just have second thoughts about it...
I should not have confirmed everything so quickly...
Shall see how things goes...

The story of balloon boy and pipok pipok is all over..
Am I sad over it?
No I am not..
I'm just disappointed with the way things ended...
And this was definately NOT the reason why I've been partying...

Let's just say that I am playful.
Whatever it is....
This has got to come to an end...
I'm not saying that I am totally not going to party and stuff..
But I really hope I can find the determination in me to cut down..

Hopefully this is not going to be one of those "all talk no action" sort of thing..

Was reading Sasa's blog just now...
Saw some impressing videos of this 15 yr old girl singing..
Just watching her performance over at youtube could already make my hair stand..
Imagine seeing her sing live...
That would be an amazing eye opener...

Well..
Enough said...

Here are some pictures which I was too lazy to upload previously...
So here you go...

More to come....

Was reading through Dina's blog and I came across this interesting thing...
Check it out...

What Alston John Tan Choon Hee Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

So how true is this?
I guess those who know me well will probably know...

Lights out!
*Goodnight*

2008-01-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

Caught "Le Grand Chef" over at Plaza Singapura yesterday with the girls...

It's been quite some time since we went out together...
It was so good to see the way Yoyo and Jaspher bitch each other...
Totally hilarious!

The movie was good...
Quite a meaningful show...

Don't want to upload the video from Saturday's show at PLAY...
I don't want these 2 young girls to see it..
Rated R(A)...
So you two can't see it!
Hehehe...

Went to have drinks at Tantric with Da Gary after the movie..
He was feeling rather down...
That's why he needed some company...
And yeah...
We talked...
ALOT!

Rest at home the whole of today...
I need to recover...
Recover from all the previous late nights....

2008-01-13T16:00:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday Wilson!!!

Finally the show is over....
It was a good one....
In my opinion.....
Yeaaahhh.....

*Smiles*

2007-12-27T10:09:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone!
Yah, I'm a little late..but as they always say..better late than never!
Thanks to everyone who gave me presents!

Appreciate it! =D

Went to St James with Daddy, Derek, Jaspher...
Was so fun!!
And when I thought it was fun...
I didn't know that the next day would have been better!

X'mas eve...
Went to Tabs with Sasa, Alan, Derek, Jaspher...
It was happening man!
So freaking fun!
Enjoyed myself....
Enjoyed the gals' company!

Can't wait for 2008 to come so we can like do it again!
But Sasa won't be around..he will be having much more fun at Taipei!
Awwww...

Had 2 dinners on X'mas day itself!
One was the usualy family dinner...
Which was very heart warming and nice to see everyone laughing away...
The other was held at WIlson's place...
I was the latest!
So sorry!
It was so good to see EVERYONE..
As in those we were so close to at one point of time...
Although now I may not be as close as certain people in that room..
But deep down am sure that the bond is still there!
It was such a delightful and nice moment for me...

Mummy bought me a new CK bag yesterday!
Its my most expensive bag!
Totally loving it!
Picture is enclosed below!
Hehe!!

Went for facial after walking around town!
This time round, the lady boss of the shop personally worked her magic on my face.
Its so painful..
And my face looks like a baboon's ass right now!
But its okay..
No pain, no gain!
I must rest more these few days if I would wanna go out on the last day of 2007.

2007-12-21T09:29:00.000+08:00

I hate my new hair cut!
Am so affected by it ...

Just totally fucked up!

Argh!!!

X'mas and 2008 aint gonna wait for my hair to grow ...
Am so so so pissed off..

2007-12-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

The weekend went quite well....
Went out with Mr. E on friday....
Suprised him at his place and then we went over to suntec to meet my grand parents...
At least my grandparents were quite pleased with him...
He left a good impression with my grand parents...
After which met up with Sasa, Derek and Alan over at city hall...
Bought some jeans and we had jap food over at some sushi joint at funan....
Derek left earlier because he was not feeling too well..
Went home from Orchard after Sasa got his stuffs...

The pre christmas gathering with balloon boy's friend was not as bad as I had imagained it to be....
His friends were quite friendly and nice....and not to mention accomodating...

Felt so bad that I was late and poor balloon boy had to stall time for me...geez...

Had steamboat dinner over there and was tuning in to the star awards 2007..was bitching about what the celebs wore etc etc...and who should or should not have won...hehehe...
The steamboat dinner was great....very good selection of food i must say...

After which we did the gift exchange thingy...
Luckily my gift was not a disappointing one...
Was so worried that me gift would not be appropriate...
But thank god it was alright! *Phew*

I received a couple of CDs and a Conrad Hotel voucher...
It's from high society and the artiste is Filippa Giordano...
I have no idea who it is but i am listening to it now...
Not that bad i would say...
It will actually make a good lullaby! Hehehe!
And guess who was it from...
Yeap!
None other than balloon boy himself!
How coincidental would it be!
He was hoping that the gift would be received by another person..
Someone of a different age group...
But well...funny how things turned out!

I am so looking forward to Christmas!
Can't wait!!!
**** A Whimsical Christmas... YeaAaa!! ****

2007-12-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

Balloon boy is flying to HK again. . .
Met up with him yesterday before his flight today. . .

We practically walked the whole of Orchard yesterday as we had nothing to do and we had to digest our lunch from Vila'ge. . .
All the carbo carbo carbo. . . .
So, we walked walked walked walked. . . .

Picked up his dry cleaning from Paragon at about 5 and we headed down to The Terrace @ Conrad for drinks. . .
After drinks we went over to Oscar's , also at Conrad. . . for dinner. .
And yes, he ordered his $21 laksa again. . . as usual. . .
I had fish and chips. . and it was so damm good!
Beats fish & co. hands down any time mann!!

Had more drinks and we headed home after that. . .

Kind of exicted and nervous for his friend's pre x'mas celebration cum gift exchange thingy happening this sunday. . .
I will be the youngest of them all. . . and I am so afraid the present that I brought for the gift exchange is going to be the talk of the night or something. . . .

Hope everything turns out right! =)

2007-12-12T13:14:00.001+08:00

The rain just keeps on pouring..and pouring...
And thats why I love to just hibernate at home and just have some quiet time...

These few days have been quite crazy for me...
Didnt have much time for myself and my family....

Then again...
It got me thinking about lot of things...

Certain things are not as easy as just choosing A or B...
And I really hate thinking about it...
How I wish I can just not feel guilty about stuff and jsut enjoy the best of both worlds...
But thats very selfish of me lah...

And no, I am not some angel thats why I am saying such stuffs...
I'm just human!!

My mind is really in a whirl....

One keeps giving me undivided attention....
The other is so busy...and it seemed nicer when it first started...
And the last one is just a plain irritant...not even worth thinking about...

Sigh sigh sigh.....
I guess only time will be able to help me out on this...

I had such a bad nightmare last night...
It felt so real and when i opened my eyes from the nightmare at 2am, I was asking myself it all that really happened...
All the events took place in my room and I kept myself awake for fear that I would have the same nightmare or the same thing might happen again....

Retribution for playing around?
I think so...

Having dinner with my mother and grandparents over at my aunt's place later....

Gals...
Please help me....
:'(

2007-12-11T10:12:00.000+08:00

Finally Alan is 19.
Enjoyed with my gals the past week!
Too tired....need to recover liao!
Bleeaaahhhhhhhhhhh

2007-12-04T09:31:00.000+08:00

Nearly a week already. . . .
The past week has been fine. . .
Didn't do much last week. .
Except for the usual family outings and stuffs. . .

Finally went to bake myself under the hot sun yesterday over at AMK. . .
Was supposed to go to Delta with Yoyo but was kind of freaked out by the number of AJs that were at Delta. . .
Decided to go walk around bugis instead. . .
Left in the afternoon and I went to AMK swimming complex since it was still early. . .

After which, met up with Alan, Derek & Sasa in town. . .
Missed them so much!!
Had so so so much fun yesterday!!
Took so many pics but am waiting for our dear fairy god mother Sasa to make all of our pictures look a little more flawless than usual. . . Hahahahaha!!!!!!

Congratulations to Sasa on his new job!!
You are so gonan enjoy it gal!!
Alan's birthday is coming already. . .
How how how ?
Aiyah!!!!!!
Since we are already such good friends. . .
I should just dispense for the formality between us and at the same time save some extra money for myself. . .
Wahahahahahha!!!! =X

Going to run some of my own errands for today. . .
Am looking forward to the weekend!
Yeeeeaa!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-28T13:06:00.001+08:00

Since almost everyone is doing this...
I shall do it too!!
Whahahahahaha!!!

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-11-27T18:28:00.000+08:00

Too lazy to type so many stuffs!
Decided to upload the pics of my grand parents, my mother, my sister, Kimberly and my cousins..
And of cuz....
MYSELF!!!!
*Bleah*

2007-11-21T10:58:00.000+08:00

I can't wait to go clubbing with the gals. . .
But unfortunately, my condition does not permit me to go out for too long. .

Anyways, this week started off well. . .

Went out with the balloon boy on monday. . .
Had lunch. . walked around. . accompanied him to run some of his errands. .
Ended up at Four Seasons Hotel for drinks when we had nowhere else to go. .
Was a nice place to go. . nice ambience, nice drinks, and to top it off, great company. .
Headed home for dinner after that. . .

Yesterday was my ex-colleague's big day, her wedding day. .
Joey and I met up at my place at AMK and headed to town to get some stuffs, well mostly Joey's stuff before the dinner. . .
Had late lunch at Ding Tai Fung over at wisma before we continue walking around in town. .
It was kind of weird walking around town in shirt and pants. . was kind of over dressed for Orchard. . .
Ended up at TCC over at Plaza Singapura while waiting for another friend, Yvonne to reach Newton MRT station. . .

As soon as we finished our drinks, we headed over to meet Yvonne and went over to Sheraton Towers for the dinner. . .
The bride, Meiwen, looked stunning. . .

Catching up with the rest of my ex collesgues was great. . .
Almost everyone went on to do different things. . .
The dinner ended quite late, at about 11. . .
Congratulated the bridegroom and his bride again before we left the place. . .

Jaron's birthday celebration is coming up this Saturday. .
Am looking forward to it. . .

2007-11-17T12:10:00.000+08:00

Another week has gone by. .

Went to Orchard on Wednesday with the girls to do some shopping. . .
Went for a short KTV session after that. . .

Met up with. . hmmm. . the balloon boy on thursday. . .
It was such a fantastic day. . .
Hehe. . .
He requested that I do not elaborate too much about what took place that day. .
Lols!

Its church for me again tomorrow!!

Wedding dinner coming up on Tuesday!

Hehehe!

2007-11-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

It was back to church for me after a very very long time. . .
I knew that it was just amtter of time that my grandma dragged me to church. .
Thing is, I didn't know it was going to be that soon. . .

I still remember the so called "routine" stuff that happens in church. . .
As in when to stand, when to kneel, when to sit. . that sort of thing. . .
Before the service commenced, I bumped into alot of old friends from RCIY. . .
It was sort of a bitter sweet thing. . .
People whome recognised me came up to me and talk to me and stuff. . .
The others who didn't recognise me just stood or sit there and gave me one of those "You're so so familiar" kind of smile. . .
I also bumped into a couple of straight friends whom I knew from outside. .
Those marist days. . .
Oh well. . .

There were come eye candies at church. . .
But since it was a church I had to behave myself and toned down abit. . Lols. .
And if my knee brace had not given me enough unwanted attention,
My grandparents had to tell their fellow church wardens that I was their grandson. .
Not like I had acheieved anything or done anything that they should be proud of. .
Geez. .

Had lunch at a near by coffee shop and came back home after that. . .
After which, headed up and enjoyed a peaceful afternoon. . .

My grandmother bought a couple of books for me, for fear that I would die of boredom. . .
So when I had nothing to do last night. . I started to read a couple of chapters. .

Thats right. . you didn't read the previous line wrongly, neither is your vision blurry. . Yup. . Alston read last night! Lols!

Its been ages since I last picked up a book to read. .
Back then it was those type of fictional books. . .
But now, I'm reading a non-fiction self help book!
Lols!
Don't get me wrong people, I am not in dire need of help or anything. .
I am just reading to exhuast all the free time on hand that I have currently. .

Going for facial tomorrow at some shop near by my place. .
Ijust hope that I do not have a break out after that. .

Am planning to dye my hair soon too. . .
But with my mother beside me this time. .
I don't want her to have anything about to say about the colour of my hair. .
So, this time round, I'm going to let her decide on the colour. .

My bed is inviting me with open arms already. .
Time for me to go to bed. . .
Goodnight!

2007-11-09T20:14:00.000+08:00

I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those who missed seeing me online, good for you, because I'm back!
For those who wanted me to die in the midst of my operation, too bad for you because I am alive and kicking!
Hehehehe!!!!

My knee recontruction operation was a success. . .
The days spent in the hospital was so horrible. .
My leg was in a cast, I couldnt walk. .
I had to pee in the urinal pan. .
The food was not that good. .
I felt like puking all the time. . .
I was constantly so sleepy. .

Thanks to all who came to see me!!
Really appreciate it. .
You guys/gals really made my day when I was lying there, half dead. . .
Really really big big big thanks to all of you. .
You peeps know who you are. . .

Thanks to those who sent me messages and thanks to those who wished me well. .
Appreciate it. . .

I miss my gals so much. . every single one of them. . .
I can't wait to go out with them. . .
I know I'm missing out on so much but I cant really walk properly now. .

Am currently staying over at my grandparents' place at AMK. .
Reason being, my granny is able to cook for me and nurse me back to tip-top condition. . .
I get to mingle and gossip with my mother. . hehehe. . .

Staying over here is not as bad as I thought it would be. .
or maybe the "fun" just have not started yet. . hehehe. . .

Grandparents' being themselves, are always so jittery about stuff and they are so so concerned about me and my welfare. .
It's really sweet of them. . .
Trying to figure what I like to eat and drink and always packing up for me and stuff. .
I feel so loved here. . . =)

Due to the fact that I've not lived with them after my parents were divorced. .
The feeling is abit weird. .
It feels abit distant but the fact that they try to know more about me and constanly shower their love on me makes me feel. .. good. . but at the same time, embarrassed.

Embarrassed because of the things my dad did to their daughter (my mother). .
And yet they can still over look that and treat me so well. .

They even asked me to live with them permenantly. .
But the thought of our different life styles is holding me back. .
Those other knitty gritty things like moving of my stuff are only minor matters which can be solved easily. .

My mother also asked me to live with her. ..
They are all intending to move to the north east area probably by next year. .

If I were to weigh the pros and cons. .
Honestly speaking, its much much better to live here with my mother and grand parents rather than with my father. . . .
Although its more strict over here, and I can't be THAT obvious and open about stuffs. . .
But I know that the life here is going to be much better than over at my dad's. .
Probably it will just take more time for everyone to get used to living with one another. . .

Moving on. . .
Everyday here has been just tv, tv, tv and more tv for me. .
Everyday was so boring until today. .
Those starhub contactors finally came to install the cable point for me in my room so now I have the internet to accompany me. . . Hehehe. . .

Been having very weird and funny dreams since the day I moved here. .
As in really really weird dreams. .
If I were to tell the girls, I think they will just laugh. . Lols. ..

Oh well. .
Going to check that testimonials that Jonathan said he wrote for me. .
Bet its one of those mean ones that mock me. .

I really hope everything in my life now can fall in its rightful place. .
Hope that the decisions I make are right and I hope I do not regret them. .
Well well well. ..

2007-10-30T15:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I last updated my blog!!
Been lazy, and my comp is down!

Changed the URL of my blog due to some. . hmm. . reasons. . . . ^^

Last Friday was my frist day back in camp after my 2 1/2 months MC. .
It was not as good as I thought it would be. . .
But anyways, it's over. . .

Am on leave until the day of my Knee Recontruction operation on 2nd Nov 07. . .
Then I will be on MC again. . .
This time I think I will really be out of action of a period of time. .
Which means no going out, no clubbin etc. . .

MeiWen msged me and told me her wedding is on the 20th of Nov. .
Hopefully I will be able to walk by then. . .
So many people's birthdays and stuff this month too. .
Hmmm. . . .

St James on Sunday was fun!!!
*Smiles*

Alright. .
Nothing much to blog about already. . .

See ya!!

2007-10-18T17:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday started off quite well. .
For some reason. . I felt quite. . . happy? Stress-free?
Don't know how to describe that sort of feeling. .
Maybe it's cuz I woke up from the right side of the bed. . .
Hehehe!!

Went to swim and tan yesterday. . suprisingly, the sun was quite good!!
After that, went back to change and headed down to Mt. Alvernia hospital to visit my mother. .
Yes, she is hospitalised again. . .
I really want to see her recover and be in the pink of health like before. . .

After visiting her, went over to bugis to meet M-boy. . .
We ended up watching the most expensive movie. . "The Brave One"
We paid $14 per person for the show. . .
Why?
Because the bought the tickets online without informing me and I bought the tickets at the counter while waiting for M-boy to reach bugis. .
So stupid right. . .
Had Mos Burger for dinner. . .
Don't know why I didn't have much appetite yesterday. . .

The show was just so-so. .
Quite a silly story line. .
Or maybe cuz M-boy and me kept talking throughout the show and didn't pay much attention to it. .
Hehehe. . .

Met up with Alan & Derek in town after I walked him to the train station. . .
Went over to Nature Forest to slack slack slack and then. . .err. . .
Yup. .
Went home after that. . .

Wanted to go swimming and tanning again today but it was raining cats and dogs or should I say it is still raining cats and dogs. . .

My MC is ending soon. .
Next week to be precise. . .
As much as I would love to extend my "holidays," i doubt its possible. .
My knee is in quite a good condition. .
Except that its not so stable. . .

Well, the doctor will deem fit whether or not I should go for the operation. .
Am only afraid of the repercussions after the operation. . .
Won't be able to walk for a period of time if I were to go for the operation. .
Maybe thats the only way for me to abstain from the clubs. . .and from spending money.

Gone. . .

2007-10-16T03:03:00.000+08:00

Havent been online quite often lately. . .

I'm so fortunate to have my group of sisters with me. .
I can't get enough of them. . =)

Saturday was to celebrate Jonathan's and Gary's birthday. . .
Happy birthday to you two!!!
Hope you guys had fun. .

Met up Alan and Gary and Jaron and the rest of the clique for steamboat dinner at Golden Mile Tower for steamboat. .
It was the 3rd Steamboat dinner for me during the weekend. . LoLs!!

Afterwhich, Alan and I went over to DragonFly for Liping's hair show. .
She looked stunning I must say. . .
The prettiest DIVA of the night. . .
Very veyr convicing and pretty. .
But can tell she was rather nervous though. .

After the hair show. .
We moved on to St James to party. . .
Koyak Salah was there too. .
Hahaha. . .
Can't get enough of her pichaness. .
She got super high and was enjoying herself. . .

Today, met up with Popiah, Orh Kee Boomerang and Koyak Salah. . .
Was in town settling all of Koyak Salah's stuff. . .
Cant imagine she spend so much per month. .
Seeing the way she shopped at Paragon. . .
Whaaaa. . . so envious lor. . .
Sighh. . . .

While having dinner with the gals. . .
Cindy called to asked if I was able to go down for the photo shoot today. . .
So I rushed down and got everything done. . .
Koyak Salah proved to me once again that she is so so so well taught and so good at everything she does. .
Don't know why she gives me that impresion. . .
She's such a role model lor. . . =p
So tired after the photo shoot. . .
Went to Maxwell for supper and went home after that. . .
Tired can!!!

Too lazy to uplaod pictures for the events that took place recently. . .
So for the pictures. .
Please visit SaSa's blog!!! :p

2007-10-12T11:19:00.000+08:00

Finally someone from HQ AMS came to visit me at my home yesterday. .
Like. . FINALLY!!
Whahaha. . .
So nice of the new officer to come and see how am I doing. . .
Bullshytz. . .PLASTIC!
Whahahaha!!!!

Met up with Eden and Xiao Xiao yesterday for dinner and went to Novena Square to collect Xiao Xiao's tickets for the upcoming Monsoon hair show @ DragonFly this Sunday. . .

Should be going if the rest goes. . .
Hmmms. . . .

The gals caught "Balls of Fury" yesterday. .

Went to accompany them for dinner after their movie. . .

Jonathan came over to pick us up for supper. .
So sweet of him. . .
Had taiwanese porridge at Bukit Timah last night. . .

Went back home. .
Sleep!!!!

Weekend liao!!
So fast!!

2007-10-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Caught Resident Evil 3 during the weekend. . .
Pretty cool show. . .
Like the fight scenes. . .
Would have probably understood better if I caught the first 2 movies to this thrilogy. .

Also caught "I Now Pronounce You chuck & Larry" yesterday with the gals. . . .
Funny funny show. . .
Worth watching!!

Am in the midst of some. . . plans. . .
Transition period I would say. .

Nothing will be revealed yet unless confirmed. .

2007-10-04T16:01:00.000+08:00

I am so bloody feeling right now. . .

I had nothing better to do, so I read through most of my old testimonials in friendster..
Alot of stuff went through my mind. . .

I miss those days back in secondary school. . .
Mainly my closest pals. .
Marcel, Teddy, Bird, Sern Ming, Kay Siang. . .
Cassandra, Denise. . . .

The days when we often go to Kbox together. .
Hanged out at Sentosa. . .
The way you guys recorded my unglamorous snoring when I fell asleep at Sentosa. .
The times we always hang out and have dinner. .

I really miss you guys. .
Bumping into the whole group of you that day really made me felt. . uneasy.
I kept thinking that it was you guys who could not accept my sexuality. .
But when I saw all of you, I questioned myself. .

Was it me that really changed?

Well, I guess I did. .
The ones who pulled away was not you guys. .
It was me. . .

You people have touched me and will always be inside my heart. .
I will always remember you guys. .
No matter what. . .

Then there were this group of church friends. .
Who always looked after me. .
We went for classes together. . .
The days we went for the church camp. . .

So many walked in and out of my life. . .

I have this group of really good pals now. .
But I am so afraid that one day we will be seperated. . .
Past experiences have caused me to feel this way. . .

At least I'm happy with what I have now. . .
With this group of this friends. .
But let's not go into the relationship aspect of my life. .

Sometimes I do feel that my life is in a mess. . .

Well. . .
Enough said. .

Celebrated Vincent's birthday over at Excelsior Hotel on Sunday. .
It was St James after that. . . quite fun. . but it was crowded!!
Didnt sleep the whole of Sunday. . .
Went for a KTV session on Monday afternoon. .
Went home and slept till Tuesday. . .

Didnt go out till yesterday night. .
Was in town. . .and surpised someone. . =)
Went over for another KTV session. . this time alot of people went. . lols. .
We had 2 rooms and was like running here and there. . .

Headed to maxwell for supper and Jonathan sent us home. . so nice of him . .

Weekend is coming again. . .
Lao pa is coming back on Sunday!
Can't wait. .
Extention allz!!! =D

2007-10-02T19:20:00.000+08:00

2007-09-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

It's a Friday night.
I can't believe I am at home.
Can you believe it?

I'll admit it. . .
Its boring me to death. .
I'm like jammed at home. . . don't know what to do. .

Alot of people are also suprised that I am home today!
Hahaha!!
Well people, I CAN DO IT! :p

On the other hand, this has showed me that it can be done. .
Not going out so often IS possible. . .
Depends on who you are with. .
Hehehe. . .

The rest of the girls (excluding Derek, because he is the LITTLE MISS ANYTHING in our group) wanted to stay away from clubs today. . .
So I had to be a good little "girl" and stay home too. .
Hehehe. .

Well. . Lets see. . .
I'm going to wait for my show to air on cable at 2AM. . .
Meanwhile. .
Scrub my body. . .
Do a facial mask. . .
Put some eye cream to remove the bloody dark eye circles. . .

Yup. . .
Guess I'll do that. .

I can forsee myself jamming at home with nowhere to go cuz I am going to wake up so darn early tomorrow. .
Going to drop a couple of flu tablets. . .
So I can sleep soundly. .
Whahahaha!!!

Last but not least. .

ALVIN TAN CHUAN BOCK AKA KAK LALA. .
Thank you for doing my hair. . .
Love the colour, love the cut. . .
And you look gorgeous. . . in your school uniform!
Whahahahha!!!

Oh yah. .
Alvin. . .
I hate the hair u gave me at this year's VMAs. . .
It was. . HORRENDOUS. . a total nightmare. .
As if my costume and boots were not horrid enough. . .
You had to make my hair a mess. . .
Gosh. .
Well, I still did a great job by doing the opening act at the VMAs. .
Wait for my MTV to be out. .
It's gonna be a hit. .

Love ya Alvin!
Stop dreaming. .
You are ALVIN TAN CHUAN BOCK, not Christina Aguilera. .
Yups. .
About time to wake up my dear. .

Whahahahahaa!
You're so gonna kill me. . =p

2007-09-28T03:11:00.000+08:00

Its time to blog. . .
My turn to say what I want. .
The place where I can rant all I want. .
Hehehe. .

Havent been doing much the past few days. .
Was just dreaming and dreaming and dreaming away. . .
Dreaming about my life. . .
Sigh. . but they are all just DREAMS. . .
Most of which I know will just remain as DREAMS and they will not come true. . .

I dont believe in the crap where by just keep believing and your dreams will come true. .that sort of nonsense. .
blabber blabber blabber blabber. . . .
YaWns!!!

My leg is begining to hurt again. . .
Don't know why. .
Maybe its time to go for the physiotheraphy sessions. . .
Yeah. . .

Weekend is drawing near again. .
How time flies. .

La la la la la ~~

2007-09-25T14:13:00.000+08:00

I had so much to say last night. . .
But I sorta forgotten how to put it into words. . .
Must be the constant pumping of "BB" into my system. . .
Hahahas. . .

What I read over at Sasa's blog is so true. . .
Monogamous.
Is there really such a thing in this circle?
I believe that there is such a thing, but I myself have already given up hope of being in one of those relationships. .
Seen and been thru a few experiences which had already spoiled my impression of what monogamous is. . .

I cannot express myself better than how Sasa has expressed his views of love on his blog. . .
I really agree with what he had mentioned. . .

Its quite funny how much people can change. . .
I have a friend. . .
Who has changed so much the past year. . .
I wouldnt say that I didnt do anything wrong. . .
But I dare say that this particular person has changed. . and is now beyond hope. . .
If one day he were to break up with his beloved one. . or his money tree. .
I believe he is going to suffer. . .
Yes, I do wish he goes thru that so he can really wake up. . .

I'm indebted to him, because of how he helped me during one of my most difficult times in life. . .
i can never repay the kindness. . .

Call my bit*h or whatever. . .
As bitchy as he wants to be. . i can be 10 times worse. .
Just don't push me too far. . .
Thanks! :D

Stressed!!!

2007-09-22T13:17:00.000+08:00

I was very happy yesterday. Elated. Over the moon. .
I was smiling to myself the whole night.
Silly? So what.

You have never left my heart. . . .
Even though others came and left their foot prints, you have and will still be inside as far as I know.

I have said before some stuff. . .
I may seem to contradict myself now. . .
Not because of what happened yesterday that caused me to be so full of feelings and emotional.

I feel so silly saying certain things in the past before. .
I felt so silly for jamming you in the past. . .
I didn't know how to understand you. . .
I was narrow minded and demanding. . .

You are a very nice guy and EVERYONE knows it. . .

As much as i am happy. . .
I know what happened yesterday was meant to be for yesterday. . .
It will never be for long. . . .

But nevertheless. . I am still happy. . .

Even if you were trying to just make me happy, even if you were just playing around, even if you have just a little bit of feelings for me. . . .

Thank you for last night. . .
It didnt feel like the past. . .
It felt so different. . . so much better. . .

In any case. . .
Thank you. . . .

2007-09-19T12:02:00.000+08:00

Dinner with mum was not very good. . .
Not going to mention about it. . .

Am running a temperature. . . not feeling too well. . .
But yet I'm going tanning. . .
I just cant sit my butt down at one place for too long!

Ok peeps.
Go to YouTube.Com and search for "Bunifa".
Watch the clips.
Its freaking hilarious!
Haha!!

2007-09-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

Was freaking jammed this morning!!
Don't wish to talk much bout it. . .
Luckily Sasa was there for me. . .
Thanks gal!

Okay, shall let the pics do the talking now. . .
Enjoy. . .

2007-09-16T15:30:00.000+08:00

Friday was fun.
Yesterday was not.

For some reason, Mr. A still pops up into my mind once in awhile. . .
Hate that. . .
Luckily I've my gals with me. . .

Feel so sad for Alan. . .
As much as I wanna help him, only he can help himself. . .
Hang in there babe, you'll pull through. . . I know you can!

As for Kelly, he just feels rather insecure and he is just uncertain of what's in store for him in NS.
This is just part and parcel of every Singaporean guys' life. . .
He is not the only one going through this and he has his family and friends to help him through the difficult starting point of NS. . .
Everyone who has been in the army for a period of time or has already been through army will always tell him things to like ease his mind. . .
Still, he will feel insecure and uncertain. . .until the day he is used to that sort of life. .

As for me. .
I can already feel that army life is better than what I am going to face once my 2 years of NS is over. .
I can forsee myself going back to school. . . studying. . mugging. . . trying to secure myself a certificate to have a comfortable carefree life in the future. . .
As much as I hate books, I have to do it. . .
"Suffer" now, enjoy later. . .

Somehow or rather, I feel that my parents are just not there. . .
I still do regard them as my parents, I still love them. . . I think. .
I still respect them. . .
Its just that I don't feel like they are there at all. . .
Probably what my relatives said is true. . that its al because of my own doing. .
But yet on my part. . i keep thinking its them them them. . . BUT I'm not denying I am not at fault. .

As much as i want to mend the relationship between my parents. . . its difficult. . .
Whatever I do seems to be an eye sore to them. . .
Damm! I sound like some rotten spoilt teenage brat. . .
Or maybe I am?

Don't have a single damm clue why I always think of such stupid nonsensical stuffs on certain days. . . especially Sundays!!!!
I can see myself giving the "can't be bothered" sort of attitude after I type this entry. . .
Den everything will end up worse. .

Don't know when Mr. D is coming back. . .
Sighh. . .

Really very grateful and thankful to have these people in my life. . .
You gals really add colours to my life. . .
A great big thank you to. . . .

Alan
Ah Don
Derek
Jaspher
Kelly
SaSa
Wilson Jie
YoYo

2007-09-12T13:02:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to update recently. . . .
Just typing an entry here cuz I'm dead bored. . and just to update. . .

Problems are everywhere. . . tired!

Kelvin has enlisted. . .
Worried for him. . . .
Sighh. . .

2007-09-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I would like to dedicate this part of my entry to one of my close brother/sister. .
On a normal average day, when he goes to work. . he is known as MR. DON ONG SS:

On certain nights, when the moon is full. . .
Or when he has to save the world and protect his true identity. . .
Just to save our fellow gays from this. . contagious. . yet. . live taking disease called boredom. .
He TRANSFORMS (like transformers lahz!) into this person named MS. DAWN QUAN AQ :

Okay. Thats it! =)

I wanna buy these pair of gold shoes from REVOLTAGE. .
Its so damm damm damm. . .VoGuE can!!!!
Arghs. . .

Also. . (Save the best for last)
Thank you to the special Mr. D who bought and delivered dinner to me today. . and he also included breakfast!
Its so so so sweet of you.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you! =)

2007-09-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

First and foremost. . . A big thank you to becky for this new blog skin. . .
Hehehehe. . . .
Was about time to change those old pictures. . . .

Went to walk around in town yesterday. . .
Didnt really get to walk around alot. . .

Bought a new pair of sandals and a t-shirt. . . .
Sasa bought some facial products from LAB Series. . .
Alan had a new hair cut. . .

Sasa and me went for manicure, while Alan was having his hair cut. . . hehehe. . . we were like too bored lahz. . .
Think the ladies at the shop were like shocked that Singapore had people like us. . lools!!

Okok!! Here are the list of things I must get. .

-Mignight Secret
-Midnight Star
-Clinique Mosturizer
-Gold colour bag (Inspired by Sasa...LOLs!!!)
-Crumpler bag (Can't find my old one....)
-Handphone pouch (Lost mine in the cab yesterday)

I think i missed out quite a few items. . .
Hahahaha. . . .

Also caught some Indonesian horror flick over at Cineleisure last night. . .
Its just a shocking show. . .
The story line is just. . . crap. . .

Going to hibernate today. . .

2007-09-02T05:42:00.000+08:00

Just want to pen down what i feel about today before I sleep and forget what I wanna say when I wake up the next day. . . .

Everything happens for a reason, yes, its an old fashioned cliche but believe it or not, its true. .
Those who were there will know what I am referring to. . .

I don't want to see this group fall apart. . .
If everyone is willing to just do their part, I can confidently say that we will still be friends for a very long time. . .

All of us are mature enough to think.
Unlike those silly secondary school days whereby you make friends and like make plans together and say we will be friends forever no matter what happens, that sort of bull shit. .

Yes. We keep saying that we will be sistaz forever, that sort of thing, BUT i believe that we will still be very good friends 10 or 20 years down the road IF we make an effort to keep the bond between us strong. . .

Say that I'm feeling or whatever, seriously, I can't be bothered.
I'm just saying what I feel, so don't scrutinize me or cast some judgement on me.

I'm sure my friends (you know who you are), will be there for me now if I needed their help, likewise, I will be there for them no matter what happens.

I made a decision back then to choose my friends over me ex Calvin whom I really really loved alot. . .
Today, I can say that I never regret making that decision.
Yes, I do feel say that I lost Calvin, but I gained alot more. . .

I brought with me my friends, things that I learned after breaking up with him. . experiences. . . things that money cannot buy. .

You girls know who you are. . .
Thank you for being there for me all these while. . .
I wouldnt want to loose anyone of you. . .
All of you have a very important and significant place in my heart. . .

Whats the point of being popular? Being up there? So what?
Yes, I am not that high profile, but its enough for me to come to a conclusion that being high profile its not a very fantastic thing. . .

Seriously, go ponder. . .
What for? What for be high profile?
Why be known for all the wrong things?
Even if you are known for the right things, what for?
What do you get out of it?

Answer: NOTHING.

Why let people give comments and casts their judgement of you and your life?
Seriously, I don't see a need.

Anyways. . .
Though there was quite a commotion today. . .
It was quite an enjoyable day despite the unfortunate event that took place. . .

Alrighty. . .
Going to head to la-la land now. . .
Nights!

2007-08-30T10:50:00.000+08:00

I happened to chance upon this shop at The Cathay yesterday called WHATHEWANTS. . . .
I've read it in the magazine before somewhere and passed by the shop a couple of time s but yesterday was the first time that I actually went in to have a look. . .

Saw the whole range of lab series products and it instantaneously reminded my of Sasa. . . hahaha. . .

There's this new range of facial products from this US brand. . . all of their products contains collagen, which explains why a bottle of facial wash can cost up to $100+. . .
I wouldnt deny the fact that I was tempted. . hehehe. . .

I realised I forgot to get my mosturizer from Clinique. . .
Have to get it soon though. . . .

Without money, really can't survive. .
Sighh. . . .
Anyone wanna sponsor me not. . .
I don't mind de leyz. . .
Whahaha. . .

Going back to camp to endorse my MC later. . . sians. . . . =(

2007-08-28T12:05:00.000+08:00

Went for medical check up for my right knee yesterday. . .
Apparently, I have to go for physiotherapy. . .
And if physiotherapy doesn't work out for me, I will have to undergo an operation to stabilize my knee's situation. . .

On 60 days MC. . . but i have to go back to camp and endorse it. . sigh. . kinda troublesome. .

Gotta start planning what to do @ home during my free time. .
Make better use of my time. . .

2007-08-26T19:14:00.001+08:00

Leg still hurts. . .
Sighhh. . . .

Sian sian sian sian sian sian!

2007-08-21T13:46:00.001+08:00

Too much happened. . .

Had a bad fall on Saturday. . .
Right knee swollen. . . .

Have to rely on crutches to walk. . so unglamourous!

On a very long MC. . .
Bored to death at home! =(

2007-08-17T19:06:00.003+08:00

Finally the weekend is here. . .
Sigh. .

What to do, what to do.

2007-08-16T18:27:00.001+08:00

Still in camp. . .
On duty today. . .

Nothing interesting has been happening. .
Just lonely lonely lonely @ home. .
Boring. .

If I'm not tired, might clean up ah boy and ah ger's cage. . . .

Shld I get more hamsters?
Hehehe!!!!

Or Chinchilla?
Siao liao. . Addicted le!

2007-08-14T04:45:00.000+08:00

Dont have much to say. .
Sigh. .
Still spending money. . .
How?
Bought a t-shirt from "a slurping ape"
Got clinique's toner and facial scrub. . .
Waiiting for my clinique's spf sun block and some other stuffs. . .
Love the new Issey Miyake frgrance. .
I want the YSL pour homme. . . .

Some pics :

Jaspher & Me @ Jaspher's Birthday

Crystal & Me @ PLAY. . . .

Pics of hamsters that I bought when I was feeling down. . sot blood right! Ah boy and Ah gal. . don't ask me which is which. . I don't know. . =p

2007-08-13T07:11:00.000+08:00

Pic of me before protecting you people while you are asleep! =p

No mood to blog for the past week. . . .
And still not in a very good mood although I appear to be alright. . .

And what did i do to vent everything out?
I spent money. . lots of it. . .
Don't want to calculate how much I spent. . . .

Before I start regretting. . and thinking. . .

So stupid and naive of me. .

Thinking that spending money would make me feel better about everything. .

Well, for that moment, it felt alright. .

But now. . .

Thinking back. . .

Totally silly. .

Well, thats me.

Gonna feel the pinch later. . .
Hmm. . or should I say I'm starting to feel it now. . .

2007-08-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

Hmm. . . still moody. . not in a very good mood. . . .
Feeling a little bit better only. . .

Off to do some reading before I hit the sack. . .

Messing with my web cam. . . bloody cam whore. . :p

Ethel and Me. . . She's not moving away from me!

Ethel. . She's such a sweetie. . . Must be the good parental genes!

2007-08-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

I'm still brooding over it. . .
Honestly, I don't know why. . .

Still so tired of everything around me, or should i say tired of being me!

How long is this going to take. . .

I don't want to break down again. . . . . .

2007-08-01T08:23:00.000+08:00

To hear something about someone from a 3rd party. . . its not good. . .
Feels like reality just slapped you right on your face. . .

Somethings are better left unknown. . .
But I guess, if I had ever known, I wouldnt have made up my mind. . .

All along, I had an inkling that it was true. . .
Time and time again I denied the fact. . . .

Reality has set in. . .
My tear duct has been all dried up. . . .

Enough is enough. . .
I ain't staying around much longer to be the fool anymore. . .

Time for you to go find another fool. . .
Oh wait, you already have another fool beside you. . .

2007-07-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

The weekend was kind of a bitter-sweet one for me. . .
I will not elaborate so much. . .
Too many eyes on this blog. . . .
Sighh. . .
Why? Why? Tell me why! ='(

Clubbed on Fri and Sat. . . .
Nothing special bahz. . .
Normal. . . .
Except that this time round, I spent more time with my mother and with my relatives from my mother's side. . .

Actually, I am getting used to this life of just living with my mother. . .
Its just the 2 of us, most of the time. . .
Will go over to my auntie Sharon's place for dinner once in awhile. . .
I like going over there, such a big nice place. . .with the best chef in the house : Granny! \
Not forgetting her youngest daughter. . Ettel. . . She's such a sweetie. . .
Will upload her picture soon! :p

Every night with mummy is quite nice actually. . .
Though its just the television and us. . . I find it very peaceful. . very nice. . .
Actually its the first time I can actually literally feel her presnence around me. .
Her cooking for me, though its mostly those instant food. . hehe :p
Last night, she actually walked into my room in the middle of the night to wind down the blinds for me and also pulled my blanket to its proper place, making sure I was kept warm. .
Can't remember when was the last time she did that. .
I felt so. . loved. . so fortunate. .
Yes, its only a small thing to alot of you out there, but to me, its everything. .

Please people! Treasure your family, your loved ones. . .
No matter what wrong they have done to us or whatsoever, we only have 1 mother and 1 father, and we can never change that fact. . .
We can't choose our parents, our siblings. . .
Make the best out of it and spend as much time as possible with them. . .

Went to church with muumy on Sunday. .
Was at OLPS. . . hehehe. . .
Quite a nice church. .
Saw some AJs there. . oh well, they are everywhere lahz!! Lolz!
Felt weird stepping into church once again after such a long time. .
Did some grocery shopping after church. .
Went back home and packed the whole house thoroughly!!
Grandma came over and so did Aaron my lil bro. .
Went out to Novena area for some Jap food. .
Name of the restaurant is Nara or something like that. .
Good food. . Worth giving it a try. . .

Oh wells. . . thats about it. . .
Will update again soon i guess. . .
Cheerios!

2007-07-25T14:02:00.000+08:00

Over at my mummy's house now. . .
Been here since Sunday. . . .

Yao yao is finally 20 years old. . .
Hehe. . .
Hope her life turns out the way she wants it to be. . .
Worried for her. . . .

Sunday night was rather boring. . .
Stayed at home with yao yao. . .

Monday, alan came over. . .
Slacked at home. . in the evening. . acocmpanied yao yao for her hormone jab. . .
Afterwhich. . . went to "tour" aruond geylang in a cab. . lols. .
Because it was raining, so we had no choice, we took a cab to various destinations to get the food we wanted. . Hehehe!!
We ended up spending like $100+ on the food and the cab fare. . . Lolz~!
Expensive lahz, but okay lah. . happy can le bahz~

Had dinner at home and watched some tv. . .
Went to bed shortly after. . .

Tuesday is just a normal day. . . camp . .
Jaspher came over after tat. . .
Stayed home the whole day!

Today was just another day in camp, nothing special. . .
Mummy will be coming home today. . .
Hope she will be perfectly alright. . .
Hmmmz. . . .

Been feeling quite down recently although its not written all over my face. .
Neither do I want it to be written all over my face. .
I'm the kind where by when I meet my friends or when I see them, I don't like to pull a long face to spoil their mood. . . No point. . .

Been thinking about so many things recrently. .
Well, i just am the sort of person who thinks alot. . . sighh. .
Sometimes, i tend to joke too much and people just don't take me as a serious person at all. . .
Am I that sort of person who only knows how to play and cant be bothered with the things happening around me?
I doubt so.

I would love to see what it would be like if i happen to just disappear from the face of this earth just like that. . .
No, i ain't seeking attention neither am i trying to create a drama serial out of my life, what for? Pointless.

2007-07-21T16:26:00.000+08:00

It was such a busy day for me yesterday. . . .

Was in camp when suddenly my father called to notify me that my mother was in the hospital. . .
Upon hearing the news, at first I was shocked and stunned, after that I cooled myself down and made my way to the hospital immediately. . .

Apparently, she has a blood clot in her brain, reason being, she was too stressed, causing one of the blood vessels to burst. . which resulted the blood clot. . .

Sigh. . I love my mother alot. . .
Though I did not spend my growing up days with her, and i admit we do not know each other well, no matter what, she is still my mother.
I've seen the effort she has been putting in these few years, trying to make amends, trying to provide for me whatever I want, trying to know me better, trying to give me the best she can. . I really appreciate it. . .

Since young, upon knowing that my mum divorced my dad because she could no longer tolerate my dad's horrible temper, I had this urge in me all along, to provide for my mother, give her the best, be there for her when she needs me and spend my life with her, even if it means only the 2 of us. . .

Up till now, I still have the urge in me, or maybe even more. . .

After all these has happened, I've seen the fragility of life. . . anything can really happen. . .
I now, more than ever, want to look after my mother, provide for her, give her the best in life, bring her to places where she has never been to, give her a shoulder to lean on, accompany her during her loneliest hours of life. . .

Sighh. . . .

Just finished cleaning up her house for her, wanna give her a clean house to go back to. . .
Going to buy some daily groceries, stock up the things for her in her house . .
After which I will head back to the hospital and buy dinner for her. . . .

I know that what happened to her this time round, I am part of the cause of this. .
If nto I had not make her worry so much for me and not make her upset by doing silly stuffs with my life. . . sigh. . .

I know you won't read this mummy, but, I just wanna get this off my chest, dunnno who to tell, dunno who to find comfort in. . .
I'm really sorry. . I really am. . .
Please be strong, please pull through. . .I don't want you to just leave like that when I myself have not find the answers to certain things of my growing up days. .
I want to be here for you, to take care of you, to look after you as you grow older each day. . .
I'll pray for you mummy. . .
You'll be fine, I'm sure of it. . .
I love you mummy. . .

2007-07-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

Hai. . . . .
As much as i try. . .
I can't seem to forget. . .
Still think so much. . .

2007-07-17T20:40:00.000+08:00

Left camp earlier to dispatch some documents to Kranji camp today. . . .
After which,went home to rest. . .

But!!!!!! Before I went home. . .
I spent another more money again!!!!
Argh! Shytz!!

Don't know why I bought those perfumes again. . .
What can I say. . I'm just a frangrance fanatic! Lols!!!

I bought Davidoff Silver Shadow Altitude, Daivdoff Coolwater "Game" (Summer Ed.) and also another bottle of the new JPG - Fleur De Mal. . . .

Now, i still need to buy some cool undies, either from propaganda or from aussiebum. . .
Also, about 2 more pairs of havainnas. . .
And my clinique facial care range for men. . .
Guess men's necklace. . .
More perfumes. . Lolz!!
The new Issey Miyake (Out Soon)
The new F "pour homme" by Ferragamo (Out in Sept)
Giorgio Armani's new fragrance.
Chanel's first perfume for men. . Dior "pour homme"
And also Ice*Men. . .
Hehehehe...
All thanks to that silly Men's Folio magazine. .. BleAhZ~!
Any sponsors or not haR? Very chor ley~! LoLx!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sian lah, tmr got camp again lor. . .hmm. . what to do. . . army life is like that lor. . . .

Okay lahz, its time for me to rest my mind. . . .
And dream of all the thingsi want to buy. . e

2007-07-16T21:08:00.001+08:00

First and foremost. .
PLEASE GO TO THE MOVIES AND WATCH HARRY POTTER: THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its freaking freaking good!!! Its the best out of all the Potter movies I've seen. . . Really. Its worth like 623464673627458456236390628513792 thumbs up!!
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bought clothes again! Shytz!! ='(
Bought 2 t shirts from Topman again. . . cost me $72~!~!! :'(
Bought like $20 worth of magazines....hahaha!!!!
What to do, on office duty tomorrow, something to kill my boredom. . .

There's a new shop at bugis selling some cool t shirts. . . but didn't have much time to look through everything! Very nice shop!

Does anyone know if there are any POA outlets left in Singapore. . .
Can't seem to find them here in Singapore anymore. . .
Thought of buying some jeans and maybe a pair of shoes from there. . . hmmmz. . .
Any recommendations?

Camp today was not bad, quite free, except had to brainstorm for some ideas for some poster. . . hmmm. . kudos to Tommy who ix excellent with computers! Hehehe! I should learn from him lor. . =p

Eh! Tag me ley people. . . read then don't tag. . .boring de lor!!
Kekeke!! =p

2007-07-16T10:07:00.000+08:00

Rather boring weekend. . . again!!!!
Lols!!

Went to downtown east with Alan on Saturday for tanning, still not tanned enough though. . . Sighh. . .
After which, went to town to meet the rest. . and we went to Play and Tabs. . .
Quite boring ley. .
Is it the song or is it just me?
Oh wells. . .

Went for bbq/steamboat at Marina South. . . .
Was with Yoyo, Wilson & bf, Sasa and Alan. . . .

After which, went home. . sleep!!!

Just another manic Monday~! :(

2007-07-14T09:40:00.000+08:00

You disappeared just like that. . . .
You decided to hide. . .

And out of nowhere, I got your sms. . .
Yes, I am stunned, shocked, hurt. . .

Although it was not very long, but it was what I felt that was important. . it was the times spent together that I felt good about. . .

"Not ready" to me is just simply another excuse.
Then why did everything start in the first place. . .
It makes me look back on things and think that everything was just a "show."

In my opinion, its just not the best way to settle things amicably, maybe to you it is. .
I am not saying that you are being unfair, although i feel that way but look here, i don't blame you. neither do i hate you.

I'm just angry and disappointed, above all, my heart doesn't feel good at all. . .

Enough said. . .

2007-07-12T11:02:00.000+08:00

Been 2 days, now its time to update! =D

Dear suprised me on Tuesday! Hahaha! He suddenly came over in the morning to pick me up form home and send me to camp. . . hehehe. . .that was so sweet of him. . . Well, little things make me happy! :D

Work was alright that day, after which, dear picked me up and we initially wanted to go to Bottle Tree Park for dinner but due to some unforseen circumstances, we had to switch location to hougang for Punngol Nasi Lemak. . haha. . but due to the long long long never ending queue, we decided to just settle our dinner at the market at Hougang central.

After which, spent some quality with dear. . and went home after that. . .

Yesterday was the RSM parade thingy. . luckily, everything went well. . better than I expected! Yeaps! :D

Met up with Kelly in town yesterday and shopped shopped shopped. . .
Bought another fragrance, its Azzaro, for men.
Also, finally bought a pair of havainnas for myself. . well, not exactly the one i have in mind but yeap, got another pair!
I want more havainnas!!! =D Lolz!
And i so wanna get Davidoff Silver Shadow "Alititude" !!!!! Its so damm freaking nice! I want the whole set! Lolz!! Fragrance, shower gel, deodorant, mosturizer. . everything!! Hehehe!! =p
And i so wanna get the JPG one as well, I already have that but I just wanna get another set just to keep and not forgetting the Prada one, just to keep as well!
I'm just ga-ga over fragrances!
Think of it as loving yourself and respecting those around you. .
Means alot to smell good ya know! :p

The weekend is coming!! Yea!!!!!
Can't wait!!!! *Smiles*

2007-07-09T20:16:00.000+08:00

Just received baby's sms. . he's home, in one piece! ;-)

For the first time in my life, i pitched a tent. And a big one for your info! Not by myself of cuz, with the help of the other guys. . .
Practically out of office the whole day. .
Didn't know it could be so tiring!!
Was telling my training spec, Tommy that it was so umglamorous and I could not believe I was pitching a tent. . whahaha!!

I was joking about and telling him there should be a banner or something that says "Unleash The Glamour" on the tent. . . Lolz!!
If its my tent, there has got to be that sign on the tent somewhere, with full length mirrors inseide and a queen sized bed. .
The entrance of should should have some feather bower or something. . whahahaha!!! NO lahz, juz kidding. . . but the full length mirror is a must though. . =p
Once again, Vanity. =p

Got home before 6, showered and been watching tv while waiting for baby to get home. .

Was at Straits Kitchen, at Grand Hyatt for some buffet dinner (local food) with baby last night. .
Baby didn't like the food. . haha. . . poor thing. .
Yoyo came later on to join us and we walked around far east abit. .
Sorry baby if you felt uneasy. . *hugs* =(

Couldn not find the havannas slipper i wanted! Crap! Looks like i gotta go to NUM to get it, as much as i hate it! Hahaha!!

Baby dropped Yoyo at Tampines Mall before sending me home. .

It was a simple but yet, an enjoyable day for me. .

Have life programme tomorrow and its Total Body Workout. . don't ask me what is that, its not something glamorous. . lols!!

Should be going to bed early tonight. . quite tired. . >.<

2007-07-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

Yawns. . . Just woke up not long ago. . .
Kind of suprised that I would wake up that late. . . expected to wake up at about 11 plus. . .
Well. .seems I'm more tired than usual. . .I guess. . .

Met up with the SingTel girls at AMK Hub. . it was my first time there. .
Quite a big place. . . but alot of wasted space. . .
Purposely went to Face Shop to look for the 2 vain gals. . you know who you are. . but only one was around, didnt managed to talk much cuz she was kinda busy. .
Vonn: I don't care, I'm so gonna make you wait for 2 hours!!
This girl here (will put her picture up soon), made us wait for 2 hours for her. . but no choice right, she is the star of the day mahz. . hahaha!!!

Went to Fish and Co. for dinner. . .
The staff there wre like. . kinda of blur. . giving us wrong information, missing out orders, and one of them didnt even know what is a servertte!!! Lols!!! What a joke. =p

Am waiting for becky to send me the pics we took that day. . babe. . you should know what to do ya! *Winks*
Becky darling, when i first knew you, you were as good as dumb! I remembered that I told you I would change the way you behave in front of others, be more open and stuff, and look at you today. . hehe!! I ain't claiming any credit, just glad that you actually did become another person!!! =D

Tomorrow is monday again. Back to camp! Yea. . boring!
I so need so shop!!!
I need to get havannas slippers, my Prada and YSL perfume. . .
More clothes!
I wanna do indoor tanning but and i afraid of the gayish staff they have. . . don't like it . . .
Same goes to NUM. . .
No plans as yet. . going to search the house for food, and if there isn't any. . .well. . I don't know. . Lols!!

Laters~

2007-07-08T02:54:00.000+08:00

This space was invaded by Becky!!!!! LOL!

Looking good hun... flamboyant AS USUAL

2007-07-07T14:44:00.000+08:00

Elated. Happy. Contented.

Going to meet the Singtel babes now. . .

Think I'm late. . whats new right ?

But I think they will be later than me. . . Lols!!

2007-07-04T20:12:00.000+08:00

Having a splitting headache now as I am typing this entry.

Alan helped me to combine a few of my pictures and made these collages for me! Thanks ger. . Mwacksii!!!

Here goes :

My friends and I, my 2 lil brothers in the center.

A collage of myself, too many pics..more to come! :p

My temper is very bad these days. . not sure whats wrong with me. . going crazy. .

The first 3 days of this week has been great to me. . .

Tomorrow is the start of the 2 long days I have ahead of me! =(

Thursday I am on mess duty. . though I do practically nothing, but i end late, thats the bloody problem!

Friday I am on office duty, which means I have to stay back until the last person leaves, before I can leave. . . which means I will most likely not able to perform with the rest outside. . .

Went down to National Skin Centre today to see the skin doctor, will see him in another 2 months to see how the recovery process is coming along. . .

More medicine. . *Faints*

Did I mention in my previous blog i went shopping again? Lolz!!!
I think i only metioned i bought the Gucci Pour Homme II

Later that night, went to bugis with Yoyo and bought some more stuffs. . .

Necklaces and some other silly stuffs. . . Lolx!

Goling downstairs to get my dinner now, because I have no one to buy for me!

Sad right?

Okay! Going to hold auditions soon for the new reality tv show, "Alston's Mr. Perfect."

Will let everyone know when applications are open ok.

Don't gan chiong hor!

Those picha ones need not apply. . i only like tak pichas~~

Xie xie! =p

2007-07-03T14:47:00.000+08:00

Alrite! Time for updates!

WhyNot has officially winded up.

Big big thanks to everyone who made it down to WhyNot's last night in business. .

My bloody face was on Straits Times, it was totally horrid!!!!!!
And finally I got promoted. . .to LCP. . WhahaHAHaHA!!!!

Not that the $20 more per month means much but yea. . .

Wanted to shop yesterday but thanks to Ms Derek Ho, who was unglamorously late, was not able to shop at all. .
Ended up having supper in town with the gals. . .

Was so bored just now and I ended up buying a new frangrance. Gucci Pour Homme. Smells. . . eccentric. . . intriguing. . lols!!
I like the older JPG one too. . anyone wanna be a kind kind soul? *hints* Lolz!!!!

Was shopping at topman for a cap that day and ended up spending $200+ on clothes. .

Darn!!!

I wanna shop more!!! GSS is ending already!!! =(

2007-06-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

It's been a week since I've last updated.
No excuses. Just plain lazy.

Congratulations to Alan who finally get to book out everday and enjoy the best of NS life. . lols. .
Well, its no thanks to us! =p

Derek is going to enlist soon. . September. . Good luck gal. .
For you, I give u 2 weeks max la, and you will declare 302 liao. . Lolx!!!

Didn't do much the past week. . .
Met up with him. . for Fantasic Four. . not a bad movie. . watch it only if you like the special effects. . thats bout it. .

Clubbed on Sat night as usual. . . but went to meet up with the gals at Westin for Sasa's birthday bash. .

Went to the old Sparks on Sunday with Wellness and the rest. .
The crowd was not bad. .
But it was darn tiring. . .
It started at like 1.45 am when i was informed that it would start at 12am. .
Ended at 3am!!!

Took half day on monday so that I could get enough sleep. .

This week seem to be passing by quite slowly. . .

Don't know what's in store for this weekend. .
Club again?
Boring. . .

I want to do something different!!!
Someone tell me what can I do beside movies, clubbing, drinking. . .

Going to bed early. . still very tired from Sunday. . .

2007-06-19T12:48:00.000+08:00

Back to work!! :'(

So hard to adjust going back to camp early in the morning and dealing with the people around me. . . sigh. .

How I wish I can just travel around the world, without any worries, with endless supply of money and do nothing but relax, shop and play my whole life away. . .

Well. . Wake up! Its not going to happen!!

Alrites, Bangkok was quite fun. . .
Shopping was alrite. . . but the weather was not very good. . .
When i wanted the sun to come out, it rained, when I didn't want the rain, it was pouring. . .

Bought quite alot of stuffs despite all that. . lols!

So many things happened when I was away. . .

-Alan struggling in NS. .
-Yoyo and her bf. .
-Derek and his dad. .
-Jaspher and his house mate. .

As a friend and a big sister/brother to them, the best advise i could ever give is to lend a listening ear. .

Sometimes I do ponder. .
People often come to me when they are feeling down and out. .
Usually I have no one to go to. .
Can't really find someone who can understand what I am going through. .
I only have friends whom I can rant my problems at. .
Not that I'm complaining, but just a penny of my thoughts.

Still, right at this moment, am still struggling with my life. Well, at least one portion of it. .
Still holding on. .
Still hoping. . though I know deep down inside, its not going to be of any help. .

Hope all my friends and myself, can pull through all these crap. .

Whatever it is, I know that I have my friends with me and want them to know that they always have me by their side.

2007-06-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

I really understand. . . really. .
But i just can't help but feel a little disappointed and upset. . .
Well, what to do. .
Life goes on. .

2007-06-11T18:18:00.000+08:00

Pictures taken at PLAY. . . *Smiles*

The weekend was not a very good one. . .

Personally I felt that the hex hector party on Saturday was just okay. . . nothing fantastic. . .

maybe cuz it was too packed. . .

Alan is enlisting this friday. . thats very very fast. . . going to miss him. . =(

Camp today was just alright. . . quite free though. . now that in camp is over. . .

Can't wait for the BKK trip. . . hehehe. . .

2007-06-08T20:48:00.000+08:00

I told myself I needed a break. . .
And no i didn't give myself one. . .

Why?

Because I am still clinging on to something that I know will not turn out the way as I've hope, wished and expected it to turn out to be. . .

At the end of the day, you ask yourself, is it worth it. . but on the other hand, you tell yourself, nothing ventured, nothing gained. . .

My stupid life is so full of contradictions.

If only I can refrain from thinking so much, all these wouldnt happen at all. . .

I really hate complications. . I hate this feeling I am feeling at this moment. . .

But what I can do about it?
I can only rant here. . .
And then sleep and wake up the next day hoping for a better day. . .
And if it doesn't turn out the way I had expected it to happen, I end up in utter disappointment again. .

I hope i can give myself more time. . . I really do hope so. . . sigh. . .
My heart is just crying out. . .and no one's listening. . .

So many 'IFs' so many 'BUTs'. . . .

Time to go to bed. . .

2007-06-05T19:59:00.000+08:00

Went to Partyworld last night after having steamboat at bugis with Wilson Jie & bf, Alan, Derek, Yoyo, Jaspher, Sasa. . .
Sasa was rather tired, i guess, so he went home and didn't join us for ktv. . . Instead of singing. . i started taking pictures. . hehe. . dunno what prompted me to do so. . but yea. . .

Here are the pictures. . .

Nice Ritteeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

Am so tired after running around the whole day in camp. . . going to turn in early today. . . catch up on some sleep. . .

Managed to update my online profiles today as well. . .

Felt that today was a rather fruitful day! *Smiles*

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day because my capable camp mate will not be around to help me out. . . =(

Missing someone. . . ^_^

2007-06-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

Just got home from Northpoint. . . .
Caught the movie "Blades of Glory"
Very funny show. . . .

Still so tired, didn't sleep much at all last night. . .
Still thinking and thinking. . . as much as I do not want to. . . but can't really help it at all. . .

Still, look forward to my bkk trip. . .
Can't wait for it to come. . .
Would be able to take my mind off things. . .

2007-06-03T14:43:00.000+08:00

I have to find the answers to so many questions that I have over the recent series of events that happened. . . .

Thankfully I have my close friends. . . you know who you are. . . .

Really need to take a step back so that I can have a clearer view of things. . .

Nuff' said. . .

2007-05-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

Had dinner over at Alfonso @ East Coast . . .
It was very good. Nice authentic Italian food. . .
Had this very awesome pasta and pizza. . .
It was costly, but worth every single cent!

After that, met up with James, whom I've not met in years!
He still looks the same, or maybe even better. . lols. . .
Thanks for your "chin-chow" hor. . . Haahaa!!

Ocean's Eleven is on air now. . can't wait for Ocean's Thirteen to be out on theatres. . not forgetting Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer! =)

Back to camp again tomorrow, worse part: am on duty! =(

Was disappointed yesterday over a series of events. . .
Hate that feeling. . . sighh. . .

2007-05-29T09:51:00.000+08:00

Tuesday!!! Yea! This week is a rather short week, due to the Vesak day public holiday!

Was at East Coast Park yesterday. . quite a nice place at night. . havent been there in ages. . and boy was it a tad too crowded. . lols. . surpisingly for a monday night!

Slept at about 1 plus last night, which explains why i am so tired and restless today. .
Going to spend my time sleeping and sleeping. . until rehearsals tonight. .

Still stuck on what song to choose for tomorrow. . jammed. . . . (-_-")

Its confirmed. Going to Bangkok on the 15th to 18th of June!!
Yippe! =D

2007-05-27T14:15:00.000+08:00

Love this pic!

I was drunk last night!

Was so so so unglam can. . . puked at Maxwell and puked in the cab. . best part of it. . in front of someone. . lols. . .

Was so sweet of him to send me home. . .

Though I did not see him the whole week. . I finally got to see him and at least spend some time with him. . . ^_^

Still having a bit of a headache now. . not very good. . . sighhs. . .

My dear Alan is going to enlist soon. . hope everything will turn out alrite for him. . He's quite a pampered princess. . . hope he will get used to the life in army. . .

Ah don juz called, telling me she's joining this Wednesday's event at P.L.AY. . . America's Next Top Ah Qua. . . Lolz . . told her that I will definately go down to support her. . lols!!!

Going out with my mother for dinner later. . .

GSS is here. . time to shop. . but will most likely shop towards the end of the GSS. . lols. . .

2007-05-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

Just got back home from camp not too long ago. . .
Shared cab with Alvin. . hehe. . as usual. . .

KL was rather fun, though not as fun as the previous times I went. . maybe cuz I got abit sick of that place. . hahaha. . .but nevertheless, still fun. .
Missed someone quie abit when I was there. . don't ask me why, can't answer why either. .

Yesterday was the typical boring MONDAY!
Just hate mondays. . and no i won't use "Monday Blues" as an excuse to be less efficient. .
Went to bugis and orchard after work to meet Yoyo , Alan and Derek!

Happy Birthday to you Derek and my sweet lil brother Aaron Tan!!

Cool eh, they share the same birthday. . hahaha!! L-A-M-E! >.<

Going to be very busy in camp from now all the way till June. . sigh. .

Okay, am going out now to meet Alan. .
Cheerios!!